We had been dating for a couple of years when my boyfriend decided to shave off all his hair. And yes, by all his hair I mean all his hair. As I started uncontrollably laughing I managed to tell him that I thought he looked like a prepubescent little boy. Unfortunately for him that also meant no hanky-panky until some of his hair grew back. Once we broke up, it dawned on me how spoiled I was when it came to my first boyfriend’s distaste for hair. And once the glow of that first relationship was over, I realized that finding my next partner would be as hard as wading through a thick jungle. Except for me, that jungle was made of hair.
Now I know what you’re thinking—“But Alex, everyone is different. You can’t make such sweeping assumptions about how women like their men.” I totally agree, so I should preface this article by letting you know that I write this based on my experience with hair removal. You see, I am a professional esthetician and certified esthetician trainer for one of the country’s largest waxing chains. Our business clientele is made up of roughly 90% women, and due to the high volume of clients, I probably see about 300-400 women a month. Eventually, during a session with one of these many clients, I inevitably hear the same thing over and over—”Men really don’t know what we women go through.” And it’s true, men really don’t understand the commitment of having our hair viciously ripped out every 3-4 weeks just to please them.
Usually, at some point during their appointment, most women talk about their man (or men) and what their preferences are in the bedroom. And we’re not just talking about their hair preferences. As a whole, I rarely hear women say that the bearish hair-all-over look is in. Do I take my hair preferences to the extreme? Maybe. When I’m Swiping left and right on any of my dating apps, I do tend to judge men for what their hair looks like or what I can see. V-neck shirt with enough hair to look as if a hamster was trying to escape? Swipe left. V-neck with just a few strands of hair or nothing at all? Swipe right. Speedo with so much leg and pubic hair it looks like I’d get a hair ball in search for a trip to pleasure town? Hard left. Personally, I prefer either a trimmed or waxed chest and stomach and absolutely no hair on the back. Down there? Well, I’m sure after reading this you can guess my preference.
Now don’t think I’m asking or expecting all men to wax. Unlike women, I simply do not think many men could handle that kind of pain. (Sorry men, it’s just my opinion.) However, there are some things that men can do to make the experience a whole lot better for us ladies, and it all starts with being open and talking about it. Ask the person you’re seeing to give you their honest opinion about their hair preferences. I find that as a whole, most women would like to see hair trimmed and neatly groomed. I’m not saying that you have to trim almost everything off, but it certainly is tit for tat here. If you don’t want to go down on a bush, why would you expect your partner to want to? Hoping to get t-bagged? Shave your balls! There just isn’t any sexy or comfortable way for getting a pube out of your mouth. I’ve also had enough experience to know that swallowing them isn’t pleasant either.
As for how to go about doing it, thankfully with science and technology today, there are a multitude of ways to remove hair safely with minimal effort and pain. For starters, you can wax, but I’d recommend asking your partner first to see if that’s something they’d be into before going the Full Monty. Also, call and ask your waxing destination if they service men. A lot of companies don’t wax men underneath the underwear or charge an extra service price for “down there” services. Shaving works as well, but again, check that that’s what your partner likes. Make sure you invest in some kind of ingrown ointment or lotion too. Something alcohol-free that can take care of redness, irritation, and bumps that might pop up after. Well-tended skin is a turn-on, bumps are not. What about epilating? Painful, and you can do it, but just know that it’s a scary little machine that works by pulling the hair out by the roots. I like to think that trimming or buzzing hair is the best option. Get a good electric razor—one with really good reviews. Don’t be cheap here. A good razor is a worthwhile investment that can last you for years to come.
Bottom line: If you aren’t willing to go the extra mile to make your woman happy by spending a few extra minutes in the shower tending to your nether regions, why should you expect her to offer up the same courtesy when it comes to hers? Do both yourselves a favor and have the conversation. Bring it up casually or playfully and she’ll reciprocate in kind and reveal her preference, even offering you the chance to reveal yours. Now that’s a win-win for everyone.
By Alex Kaz
